bittenburg

WHY. WHY do I work with these people. THEY DO NOT KNOW WHO PLAYED HANS SOLO IN THE ORIGINAL STAR WARS MOVIES. "That one guy, uhm, he was in like, that one movie with the Matrix and stuff, right? The Matrix?" AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Also AHHHHHHHHH! but more ARRRRGH. I can't find my ISO 9001:2000 certificate. I have my manual (mwahaha) but not my certificate. Dammit. Obviously, this is a prime excuse not to write my roommate's audits anymore. I DO NOT HAVE MY DOCUMENTS. I NON-CONFORM MYSELF. The end.

It probably won't work, though. He bribes me with delicious cheeses. I do so have a weakness for cheeses.

And puddings.

I'm afraid to ever go to my high-school reunion. Everyone is probably going to be like used car salesmans/trophy wives and/or relentless yuppies. I found a lot of them on Facebook. I haven't been back since. Facebook seems like a big "OMFG my life is awesomer than youuurrsss!" anyway. I also find it weird. I mean, these are people I went to school with. Finding them on the internets is like finding a small, inexplicable poo in your freshly-cleaned toilet. I have ranged the internet alone, all these years, and seeing that there are other people that I know that use the internet is strange.

Listen up, other people that I know. OFF MY INTERNET. GET OFF. Soon, I shall get an e-broom and come after you like my old neighbor did after us "dang kids".

Oo, I'm going to google my neighbor. See if she shows up.

ACK! SHE'S ON THE INTERNET TOO! THE INTERNET IS NOT SAFE! FLEE ALL YE WHO HOLD THY SKIN DEAR, FLEE THE WRATH OF HER... her... nude Harley Davidson cycling club?

OMG WTF!

*goes away to cower in a corner*