bittenburg

Occasionally, I think about having a child.

Now, I don't have any of the 'natural mothering instinct' in me, or if I do, it's hidden very well. I don't feel "I must procreate to make myself immortal in some way!", nor do I think, "OMG BAYBEES!". Sorry, it just doesn't happen for me.

But... and this is pretty horrible... I sometimes think I would have a child as a science experiment. I don't mean like taking a microscope to him/her, but I wonder what would happen if I took H's genes (German, intelligent, handsome, relatively free from health and psychological issues) and mine (German, intelligent, fairly ok looking, relatively free from health and psychological issues) and mixed them. Would the progeny be as intelligent, or more so? Are allergies partly a combination of environment and genes, or dependent on one or the other? Is violence or predisposition to temper genetically related? If it is, could other personality characteristics be inherited, and if so, which ones?

It could answer so many questions, observing a child. It couldn't be a true experiment, obviously, as the world would always intrude and warp things, but it would be interesting to observe.

This would also obviously make me the worst parent ever. What child wants to hear, "Your mother wanted to have you as a science experiment"? That probably would destroy the whole experiment altogether. And besides, I have little enough tolerance for crying and yelling - imagine how it would be, compounded by like 100 in a child. I'd go crazy, the experiment would fail, and I would be sent to a home for crazy people. Besides which, pain and labor and being pregnant? Noooo, not for me. I feel faintly sick thinking about it, let alone... no. I can't even go there.

Sigh. Back to the drawing board.